Because we were supposed to grow up and find good boys 

But before that we were supposed to find bad boys 
Boys that cheated and lied and were immature 
And maybe hit us once or twice just to get it out of our systems 
Boys that our dads always joked about killing 
Without a smile on their faces

A woman elder in my family once told me it’s just part of being a girl
Another one told me everyone needs it just once 
The second one also told me that attempted rape is lucky 
The second one’s daughter told me not to report 

And then we find the good boy and we both join 
Parish council 
Maybe we teach sunday school 
And get asked to baptize too many kids 
And never say no

We get a brick put on the wall with our names 
For generations of kids to touch during halftimes of games for good luck 

We would carve ourselves into the foundation of a building 
That teaches our children that love is magnanimous 
Knows no bounds 
No ground, no sky 

The stained glass window saints have eyes 
They fill with tears as you trip down the aisle. 

About the author:

Stacey Manos (she/her) is a poet and playwright based in Southern California. Her writing focuses predominantly on identity, Latinx culture, the LGBTQ+ experience, and survival of sexual violence. She has had her work featured in publications such as Queer Rain, LUCID, The Patient Project, and New Forum. You can access more of her writing at @skmpoetry on Instagram.