by Michele Cacano

Hotter than it should have been. The white air 
burnished the aged parchment-yellow 
atmosphere of millennia. I was searching for 
addresses, ancient and unfindable…

Thirsting. 

I felt the zing of music; heard 
invisible guitar chords as 
he passed me–

Electric. 

I looked at him over my shoulder, and 
found him doing the same. A style child 
of Hendrix and Prince: paisley shirt, black 
leather pants, I was drawn. I, the vagabond, 
unanchored and wandering, Far from

Home.

With no place to call my own, I had worn 
out my welcome at another flat. He brought 
me home with him, like a stray puppy;
adopted me into his broken life of sex and 

Struggle. 

We were immediately entangled. Full-time 
familiarity, breaking the ice, sharing lodging 
in a residence hotel, living off borrowed boxes 
of Corn Flakes, stolen cheese, and day-old sandwiches from 

Tesco. 

Purple passion in a yellowed room. We loved 
fully, physically, around the clock. He was 
fragile; a musician. The youngest of five siblings. Only 
five when his American mother left them– 

Abandoned. 

I wanted to heal his broken heart. I was an 
American woman…I could soothe his wounds, 
prove his mother wrong. Teach him to love and 
trust again. If I could love him enough, he would do 

Better. 

I loved him as much as I knew how. Gave him 
all my attention, all of myself. Let him 
steal my strength, my dreams, my confidence…
I loved him–  

Thoroughly. 

When he hit me, I broke into pieces. I 
forgave, he forestalled; the fullness of our love 
–my world– squeezed tighter, inflamed. 
Mutual desire was no longer 

Required. 

His white-knuckled grip 
choked the color from our 
room, choked the life from 
my bloom. My voice 

Strained. 

He showed me photos of ex-girlfriends, 
battered, in hospital. If I could love him enough, 
he would be better… A month later, the final screw 
and I knew he would never– so I flew.

Leaving 

behind the man, the pain, taking 
with me a souvenir of trauma that 
I would cut out before it could burn 
me. If I could just love me 

Enough.