In 1967 I was born at Saint Mary’s Hospital in Santa Monica California. My birth certificate names me as “Babygirl McCorry ”. My mother was in her teens. I was adopted by a couple in their early thirties. My adopted mom (My Mom) could not bear children because of a ‘back street abortion’ during her ‘teens while her parents served in WWII. During that time she was living in the basement of a relative in Pennsylvania. She spoke of how she was scared, alone and manipulated into sexual activity. My mother often lamented that she missed out on the process of pregnancy and childbirth because of the infection caused by that illegal unsanitary abortion. I grew up knowing that I was not the child she really wanted. She wanted a child that developed in her womb. My birth mom could not or chose not to mother me and my Mom (my adopted mom) was never able to truly mother me. My dad died when I was nine. I have always, always felt a cellular thread tug at my desire to exist. Sure there’s a lot of unique psychological stuff in that mess but where isn’t there?

Inexplicably, at thirty-nine encephalitis left me with refractory epilepsy. I could no longer work or drive. My boyfriend was a high functioning alcoholic. A drunken night led to a missed menstruation. The reality of an unwanted/planned pregnancy was unduly. My regular seizure activity and a baby were too much responsibility for him and also for me, alone without a family. Thankfully yet sadly I chose to terminate the pregnancy asap, approximately nine weeks. I left the boyfriend and dealt with my seizure life on my own. I am grateful that I had the choice not to give up a child to possibly incompetent parents, not to be forever tied to a man that could not step up and not to burden a child with my limitations and needs.

Yes, of course, I know there are many families that do, can, and will happily adopt an unwanted child and innately know how to parent them. For me, more importantly, is that other than physical, the spiritual and conscience viability of a fetus lies in the hands of countless arguments and the religion or belief system of some should not control the life path of others. Not in America.

About the Author

Christine Sheeter wrote this essay and provided the following biographical statement.

I’m adopted, not that that makes much difference in my development, put people find it interesting. I’m an only child who learned to occupy myself while my parents went about their business. My early years were spent in Waldorf School, which further developed my imagination, creativity and psychological liberty. After graduating from public high school I did the Eurorail thing around…. you guessed it, Europe. I then spent a few year as an Au Pair in Italy. When I returned to the States I began guiding white water rafting trips down the American River in the California foothills.

In my late twenties I received a Bachelor of Science degree in Environmental Biology and Management from UC Davis. I did field work in no-wheres-ville New Mexico where I became enchanted by the desert landscape. I followed that up with working for the Golden Gate National Recreational Area teaching youth about the relationship between native and invasive flora. I was struck by the seemingly endless issues that environmentally conscious programs, organizations and institutions were struggling to address and the thread that bound them together, so I started a non profit.

P(x) is an algebraic term for Probability Unknown, that was the name I chose and our mission was to: “make the population population aware”. Unlike Paul Ehurlich in the 1970’s and his ZERO POPULATION movement P(x) did not want to tell people what to do, we wanted to get the conversation started. “How many people can the earth support? Let’s think and talk about it.” We went across the U.S. with a video camera in 1999 asking people what they thought. P(x) was not successful. I realized I couldn’t save the world so I moved to San Francisco looking for a life partner. That’s when I started painting and writing all of which I kept to myself. In 2007 I woke from a month long coma and was left with refractory epilepsy which confined me to a Northern California farm house with tubs of colorful paints and brushes.

Painting and my dog were my inspiration to soldier on despite being alone and unable to drive or participate in the work force. After thirteen years of many anticonvulsant medications, experiments in dosage, pharmaceutical cocktails and finally, brain surgery I picked up the pen again in 2019. So now I present my work to you.

Supporting Reproductive Rights

This is a critical time in our fight to preserve access to abortion and reproductive healthcare. We believe that every action counts. Here are three things you can do.

1. Fight stigmatization by sharing your story and/or supporting people who have shared their stories. Supportive comments and likes make a big difference to the people who have chosen to share their personal experiences.
2. Stay Informed. Consider subscribing to Abortion Every Day, by Jessica Valenti.
3. Reach out to your representatives on the federal, state, and local levels and tell them that you want them to pass legislation that protects reproductive rights including abortion access. Guttmacher Institute has a list of state-level policies that you can advocate for.
4. Donate to organizations committed to protecting access to safe and legal abortions. Marie Claire has a great list of pro-choice organizations. And please check out SisterSong, an organization that champions reproductive justice.

Header Image by NASA on Unsplash